Monday, 23 July 2012
Tragedy for the music world
Tragedy has struck the music world today. There has been dismay and utter disbelief at the headlines this morning.
The music world is in total shock after discovering today that the kind is dead. Yes, Elvis has been found dead. I know it’s hard to believe; a man at the peak of his career and physical fitness. His healthy diet and strict fitness regime kept him is perfect shape as he danced like wind over a desert across the stage. The cause of death is as of yet unknown but police have released a statement saying there was a suspicious sausage protruding from his left ear.
What is even more unbelievable is that on this terrible day, his son was also found dead. Michael Jackson, the son of Elvis was found in his kitchen later this afternoon. It is believed that upon hearing the news of his father’s death, he shed a large tear and his face exploded.
The latest news is that this has now become a triple tragedy of terrible termoil. We have just heard that Elvis’s illegitimate love child, Jimmi Hendrix upon hearing the terrible news, just had a fit of rage on stage, spun his guitar around his head with such force that it chopped it off. Police are still searching for his head. It was last seen being carried away in the direction of the buffet.
James Cameron, British loser and leader called President Obama, leader of the world a few minutes ago. Cameron reportedly said ‘ Yo Obama my man, we finally dumped those spawn of Satan, we can now focus on taking over the galaxy whilst destroying humanity with no interruption’. Obama apparently replied, ‘not yet my arrogant idiot friend, that is just the tip of the iceberg, we still have Elton, Cliff and Paul to kill off…. Bwahahahahaha’.
He is currently not available to make comment as he is still chuckling evil laughter around the pentagon, where he has almost completed his green laser xray death ray as started by Reagan and his wife, Maggie Thatcher in the 80’s.
Late news just in; Roy Orbison has just formed a gangster rap group. With his blood in the hood – Bob Dylan. They are planning on fighting the oppression with depression. 16 people have already jumped out of their windows and they haven’t even made a track yet. Madonna reacted to this by saying ‘ I think I’ll take ALL my clothes of in the next video, Granny power to the max’. Nearby press blew chunks and several bits of Madonna melted.
Kraftwerk have boarded Thunderbird 2 and are on their way to the batcave to prevent any further substandard films being made that attempt to mash up marvel and dc comic heroes. They are armed with phasers made from tin foil and knitting needles. In a statement made to CNN they explained their plan saying ‘ist nacht van death bosh audi vw zat ist de master plan bmw clop sis ist nein van Beethoven!’ No one in Germany was able to translate.